Thank you for agreeing to be a moderator at one of the dinner conversations events that will take place on Thursday, April 26, 2012 from 6:30 -9:30 p.m. You were asked to be a moderator because your particular skills, experience and personal qualities make you a perfect person for this important role in the evening’s events. We so appreciate you saying “yes” to our request. We could not do this project without you.

 

MODERATOR TRAINING VIDEO

 

Download Complete Moderator Packet 

 

We ask that all moderators arrive at the event at 6:00 p.m., 30 minutes prior to participants. This will give you time to become acquainted with your host(s) and to set up for the “Dinner Conversation.”

 

The purpose of this document is to

• explain the dinner conversations concept and structure
• explain the role of the moderator
• offer a general outline of how the evening can be structured

 

The Dinner Conversations Concept

Although the term “conversation” is used to describe the activity, it is not a traditional conversation.  Rather, it is a guided time of sharing in which people are asked and answer questions in a way that leads to listening and appreciating, rather than to agreeing or disagreeing, liking or not liking what someone says, or comparing or contrasting what’s being said to one’s own personal experience. 

 

The questions do not seek facts and opinions so much as examples, stories, and metaphors from people’s lives that illustrate how God is active and present in their lives.

 

Goals of the Conversations

• to help participants begin to formulate and articulate their faith stories
• to create a safe environment and encourage people to go deep in their sharing
• to teach neutrality in interpersonal encounters
• to provide the experience of being heard

 

Instructions for the Conversations

The conversation occurs over dinner – that is, while people are eating.  The questions that prompt the sharing are found in a deck of “dialogue cards” specifically created for the Sharing Faith Project.

1. One by one, guests draw a card from the deck, read the question aloud, take 15-20 seconds to think about their answer, and then answer the question in about 5 minutes. 
2. Other guests listen to the answer. No one interrupts the person speaking.  No questions are to be asked of the person while they are sharing, or before or after their answer (except for “Can you repeat that, I didn’t hear you?”).  There is no “back and forth” conversation or commenting at this point in the evening.  Reminder: This is not a typical dialogue or conversation.
3. When one person is finished, the next person draws a card and the process is repeated until everyone has answered a question.  No two people get the same question.

 

The point of the exercise is to keep people at the level of personal experience, feelings and sharing – NOT at the level of perceptions, opinions, beliefs, theories, assessments or policies.  The structure of “no interruptions” and “no commentary” minimizes the human tendency to listen only in order to respond with our own story, belief, experience, or whatever.  Instead, people share when it is their turn, and listen the rest of the time with a view toward simply appreciating and truly hearing what others are expressing.

 

4. After the first round, a break happens -- to serve dessert, refill beverages, or to use the restroom.  After the break, the moderator may open up another round with the cards during which each participant will draw and respond to another dialogue card. 
5. After the “cards period,” the group may engage in a debriefing conversation. The “debrief conversation” occurs sequentially as well – just like the cards conversation.  One at a time, participants share what they learned as they listened to people, their experience of listening, any “ah ha” moments, how this will affect them now, etc.  Again, no interruptions or commentary.  Sequential sharing lasts only 3-5 minutes each.
6. If there is remaining time, the moderator makes the transition to the “free period” in which people are free to visit, share and converse with each other in an unstructured, unmoderated way.  During this time, people have the back and forth conversations that were prohibited during the exercise.  Often, people will exchange information because they want to get together again at a future time.  This free period can take place around the dinner table or in smaller groups – you should guide this process so that this time is best utilized.
7. At 9:25 p.m., the moderator brings people back together to thank the host/hostess and participants and conclude the evening.  Everyone should depart by no later than 9:30 p.m.